Boy Crazy

Chasing Home

Fri, 6 Aug 2010 20:15:07 -0400

There are a few images and sensations that come to mind when I think of the word home. The changing leaves of a New England fall, the clarity of stars in the sky without the distraction of a city, the buzz of insects that you can only hear once the sun goes down, the smells of my mom cooking dinner while chatting in the kitchen, and the sound of snow crunching under my boots. There is tranquility in these images for me. It this tranquility I am craving for my family.

As my life continues to change and become more centered on the home and our growing family, much thought and discussion has centered on what we want out of life. As I bounce from home to home (6 in 8 years) one thing is becoming clear; I want to raise my children in a more simplified setting. A place that focuses our attention away from “stuff” and moves us towards experiencing nature and enjoying family. This is how I grew up for the first third of my life. The closest mall was over an hour away. Family potlucks weren’t seen as a burden and consequential last minute dash to the local takeout joint. And eating local foods was not a nationwide movement, but rather a trip to your backyard garden. Recreating this simplicity of life for my family is a goal. I am struggling to do this in the New York area. I am sure it is possible, but I don’t think it should be this hard. Our challenge lies in the tug of war between creating our dream life and financially supporting such a life. Sometimes when surrounded by so much materialism it is easy to forget that it is possible.

So, where does that leave us? For now it leaves us exactly where we are; living our day to day life and growing from the experience, and dreaming. Dreaming of a life where my children look up at their own sky full of stars.

Seeing Double

Sat, 24 Jul 2010 14:38:05 -0400

Just a quick post to say we are having TWINS! Right now I am still in the process of wrapping my head around what this will mean for us. Of course I am excited, but I am also scared. Scared of making it full term, scared of how twins will effect the life of my rambunctious toddler, and scared of how it will change our lives. But, we are excited for this chaotic, insane journey that we are embarking on. One thing is for sure- these babies are wanted, these babies are loved.

a little bit pregnant

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 17:00:44 -0400

We have a very long journey ahead of us, but it is true I am pregnant- a little bit pregnant. It is so early that under normal circumstances I would be a crazy loon to be sharing this info with the world, but I think I am well past what is the norm. With that said I am well aware of all the things that could go wrong. Making a baby is a leap of faith. Right now I am only 5 1/2 weeks. The embryo is the size of a sesame seed. We have an ultrasound next week to determine if heartbeat(s) are present. A big step.

Magazine for Toddlers

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 15:51:10 -0400

My dad surprised my son with his very own magazine subscription to National Geographic Little Kids. This is the cutest magazine EVER! And so age appropriate! Each month the magazine focuses on a different animal (our favorite so far is the duck). Like the big people version the photographs are breathtaking. The magazine provides intelligent information without being overwhelming. Besides being entertaining, and my new favorite nighttime read, my son is learning so much! How many 19 month olds can tell you that a mallard daddy duck’s head is green?

Want to Follow?

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 15:13:02 -0400

A few people have inquired why I do not have a place on my blog where you can become a follower. The problem is I use iWeb to create my blog, and I cannot figure out how to put Google Follower on my site (if anyone knows please help!). So... I am happy to create an email list that will notify you when a new post is up. No worries, I will never give out your email address, no one else will see your address, and I will only use it to notify of posts.

If interested either leave me a comment or email me.

The Waiting Game

Fri, 18 Jun 2010 21:14:54 -0400

A funny thing happened last week. After months of saying in no way did I ever want twins my mind instantly changed. Seeing the two embryos above, calling them mine and knowing they are inside of me instantly changed me. I want them. The life would be crazy and chaotic, and I would have three children under two and a half, but I want them.

Tomorrow I go in for the big blood test. The one that determines whether our life is changing or not. I have gone back and forth about whether it was a good idea to post about all of this as it adds pressure to this experience, but part of my healing through this journey is to be brave and honest. So here it is. I’m not sure how much I will feel comfortable sharing, nor do I really want this to become a fertility blog. This blog was created to be an outlet for me to talk about what is important to me. If I didn’t share my infertility experiences I would be leaving out a large part of who I am.

Thank you for your support. I appreciate your comments and the personal emails you have sent me. Knowing there is a network of people (both family and friends and strangers) means the world to me.

My Journey

Sun, 23 May 2010 19:05:59 -0400

I’m not exactly sure where to begin, so let’s start with this sentence.

I am about to plunge a needle into my belly for the 20th day in a row.

This would be disturbing enough if not for this next sentence.

If all goes well I will continue to inject myself with needles for the next 2 months or so.

Know where this is heading? That’s right folks, I am preparing for IVF (in vitro fertilization).

I don’t know what exactly I want to write about this, but it is such a part of my existence now that it felt strange not to post about it. I began my journey to motherhood shortly after getting married almost 4 years ago. We were blessed to get pregnant right away only to lose the baby to a miscarriage at 9 weeks. While this was devastating the struggle to get pregnant following the miscarriage was so much worse. After almost a year of trying to conceive on our own we were lucky to get pregnant with our son via IUI (intrauterine insemination). Unfortunately this time around we have not been so lucky. After three failed IUIs we are now in the middle of preparing for IVF.

I have learned so much about myself through this journey. I always was one to live by the mantra, “things happen for a reason”, but now I feel differently. After experiencing infertility first hand and through my friends’ lives, I believe sometimes shitty things just happen. There is no reason, it just sucks. SUCKS. But that does not mean I am wallowing in negativity. I believe that it is my responsibility to do something positive with these experiences. While someday I hope to do something big, for now it’s the little things. I choose to share my story in hopes that it will teach those that don’t understand, make those struggling feel less alone, and just make this whole world of infertility less of a dirty secret. I will begin with this little tidbit for today- stop asking people if they plan on having children- you have no idea what they are personally struggling with.

As my mom experiences this journey with me she said something that I think about as I go through these roads bumps. She said that my children will never have to question just how much they were wanted. I love that thought. Here is my happiness:

The Boobies Are Asleep

Fri, 7 May 2010 22:07:40 -0400

I am in the process of writing a piece on my lack of writing for the past month, but my child’s sudden boobie obsession is on my mind and makes me laugh so I thought I would share.

Despite the fact (or who knows, maybe because of the fact) that I stopped breast feeding my 18 month old 5 months ago he is suddenly obsessed with boobs. He digs deep into my shirt to literally tweak my nipples and wring my breasts. Let me be honest, this is really annoying at home, but it’s totally embarrassing in public, and frankly, it hurts like hell sometimes, but I digress. So tonight I was changing my shirt after Quinn doused me with a cup of bath water. Quinn started laughing hysterically at the sight of my bare breasts (oh to swell with confidence!). Quinn then turned to his Elmo doll, pointed to it’s chest and said “Elmo’s boobies.” Too funny! Ready for bed I sat with Quinn and Elmo and Elmo’s boobies to read some books. Quinn began reaching down my shirt and I stated my new defense, “Quinn, the boobies are asleep.” Quinn responded, “Shhhhhh”.

Thank You, Jamie Oliver!

Fri, 9 Apr 2010 20:25:20 -0400

As an early childhood educator I learned that nutrition and education go hand in hand. Too often children are labeled as ADHD or a behavioral problem without first looking at their diets. During one of my summer breaks I researched the effects food additives and dyes have on the behavior of children (yes, teachers actually work during the summer). I was astounded to find so much scientific research centering on the negative effects of partially hydrogenated oil and food dyes. Shockingly, so many of the snacks and lunch items that entered my classroom were full of these things. I was pumping my students full of food drugs and then expecting them to sit still and focus on my lessons. That September I banished all items containing food dyes, partially hydrogenated oil, sugar-loaded desserts and fruit juice drinks. Fruits, veggies, cheeses, water, hummus, pita breads (just to name a few) now sat proudly on our tables. The children easily adapted, and I began to see positive behavioral changes. Nutrition was now part of their education and they were proud of their new found knowledge.

Jamie Oliver’s new television show Food Revolution has the intelligence and passion to truly change the way our children eat in our schools. When a school district can define french fries as a vegetable you know we are in serious trouble. This is not funny. We are slowly killing our children. This is the time. Start with your children. Start with your classroom. Start with yourself. For inspiration tune in to Food Revolution on Fridays at 9pm EST. A healthy future awaits us all...

Children’s Drawings Reinvented

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 13:28:52 -0400

If your home is anything like mine you are struggling to find empty spaces for your budding artist’s work. While it is important to celebrate their work, it is impossible to save every single drawing and painting. Resist the urge to send those piles of artwork straight to the garbage. Go green by transforming your child’s drawings into personalized stationary. All you need is a pair of scissors and voila! A new masterpiece! Perfect for writing thank you notes.

Kidishes

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 11:16:46 -0500

Ready to put away the sippy cups, but want something sturdier and safer than plastic? Look no further. Kidishes are glassware that are unbreakable (trust me, my kid has tried his best to smash his new cups on our hardwood floors!). This company, also known as Duralex, makes a variety of glasses, plates and bowls. Quinn loves drinking from his new grown up glass. I look that they are BPA free. Plus, he looks super cute drinking from these cups!

The Shark Steam Pocket Mop: The Answer to My Failure as a Housewife

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 12:53:03 -0500

So here’s the deal- I’m a great mom. I’m a great cook. I am a HORRIBLE cleaner. Unfortunately, when I became a stay-at-home mom I also became responsible for the majority of the house cleaning. So how’s the house looking? Pretty darn messy. I blame it on our tiny apartment and ridiculous amount of crap, but in reality I just suck at cleaning. Sooo... what does my mom buy me for an Easter gift? (oh, yes, my mom buys her grown children easter gifts). Answer: The Shark Steam Pocket Mop. It is truly the answer to my dirty home prayers. It simply works with tap water and steam (no chemicals, yay!). Long story short, I mopped my kitchen and bathroom floors in under 10 minutes. Now if I could only figure out where to put all the clutter that is on the clean floors...

Navigating Preschool

Mon, 8 Feb 2010 12:04:23 -0500

Though my child is only 15 months old the topic of preschool is already popping up amongst the fellow moms in my neighborhood. With my background in early childhood education, I find myself answering many anxious questions these days with watchful eyes as to what my plan is for Quinn. Before my resume read “Mom” part of my profession was counseling parents in finding the best schools for their children. It is fascinating to step into the parent world. I’m the fly on the wall that I always wanted to be. I hope the answers provided break through the mystery and anxiety associated with preschool education.

Is there a difference between pre-k and pre-school?

Yes. Pre-K is the year right before Kindergarten. Some public schools have Pre-K in their schools, but it is becoming scarce as more states lose funding for universal pre-K. Preschool refers to the ages 3-5 (if not going to kindergarten), and now many schools are beginning to add 2s as well. Preschool is often referred to as nursery school; they are one in the same. Generally, there are multiple classes in a preschool and the classes are divided by either individual ages (ie: 3 year old class, 4 year old class) or by groups of ages (3-4 year olds, 4-5 year olds). Preschool includes the pre-K year.

It seems like there are different educational philosophies proposed by each pre-school. What type do you think prepares the child for kindergarten?

I am trained in progressive education and received my Masters from Bank Street in this educational philosophy so I am biased to it. You can read more about it here: http://www.bankstreet.edu/sfc/philosophy and here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progressive_education. With that said I think you need to be careful of the educational labels schools give themselves because in my experience the philosophy on a school's website does not always match the actual teaching practices and school environments. I highly recommend going and observing a classroom while the children and teachers are there. Here is what you should be looking for:

What is on the walls? Is it mostly teacher made bulletin boards or are the children's work displayed on the walls? Most of what is displayed should be the children's work.

Are the classroom materials at a level where children can easily get to them? (books, art supplies, games, manipulatives) Are they well organized? This type of classroom management will increase the independence of the children.

Is there a rug area where the class comes together to discuss, read books, etc. ?

What is the approach to discipline? I believe this is a topic often overlooked, but can make or break a positive school experience. Look for schools that do not take a punitive approach or use behavioral modification (if you act “good” you get a star, if you act "bad" you get a star taken away. This is humiliating to children and does not teach self-control), but rather use logical consequences (if you are disruptive during circle time then you need to leave circle until you are calm and ready to participate, if you rip John's picture than you need to help him fix it and make sure he is okay). Also, if we are talking about super young ones like 2s- does the school have plans for different developmental ages? More info on logical consequences can be found here: http://www.responsiveclassroom.org/

In terms of specifics that prepare children for kindergarten you want to be looking for a school that places equal if not more emphasis on the social and emotional growth of preschoolers as the academic growth. Children learn best in play and therefore need to spend most of their day in this way.

Do you feel that it is necessary to have a child attend more than 1 year of pre-k?
No it is not necessary. A lot of schools keep introducing younger and younger children because in large part schools are a business and it’s added money. With that said I think that there are wonderful 3 year old programs that are doing great work (and I was once a 3s teacher). To answer your question I think you need to look at the individual personality and temperament of a child and the current situation they are in. If you are home with your child and providing an enriching day full of art activities, book reading, outdoor time, time with friends, down time, naps, etc. then there is no real need for multiple years of preschool, but if your child is at home with a nanny or in a daycare and doesn't get as much enrichment than I think multiple years could be beneficial to support social growth. In terms of personality, an outgoing, social child might enjoy going to preschool at an earlier age because she is ready in that way.

What do you think would best prepare a child to start pre-k? Or how do you know that he is ready for to start? (Ex. I guess a mature 2 Y O might be more ready than an immature 3 YO).

Look at your child's social and emotional growth. A child who gravitates towards other children, easily separates from mom/dad/caregiver is showing signs of being ready. Again, this gets a little more confusing when you talk about 2s because, in terms of their developmental stage, they are still parallel playing (playing next to a child while another child plays, but they are not truly engaging each other in a shared activity). In all honesty there is a large part of me that believes 2 is too young to be included in preschool as it requires the ability to follow a school structure, long hours, etc. 2s are the perfect age for a one or two day a week small playgroup of 3-4 children.

Maybe it's me but it seems like [child’s name] (born Nov 19th 08) would be too young to start in the 2s program at 22 months. If I waited until the following year could he go to the 3s program at 34 months?
Yes, I would agree (see statement above). I would trust your instincts. RIght now, you are the expert on your child and an advocate for him.

If you don't mind me asking what you will be doing with Quinn?

I'm a stay-at-home mom. I plan on keeping Quinn home with me until he is probably three- he's very social so I will probably try to get him into a morning program at that point. For about 3 hours, 3-5 days a week, then at four look for a 5 mornings a week program.

Am I Tripping on Mushrooms? Nope, Just Watching Yo Gabba Gabba

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:57:01 -0500

“Does Quinn watch Yo Gabba Gabba?” my brother-in-law asked me. “Huh?” I had never heard of the show and promised to tune in. After searching all over for what I had heard is a crazy ass show I found it at 1pm on Nick Jr. Honestly, after watching for a few minutes I was not sure what to make of it so I used my kid as a test case. After 5 minutes Quinn turned to me, asked for a hug and then had uncontrollable hiccups. Whoops! Perhaps at 14 months he is too young? Not tough enough for Yo Gabba Gabba due to his steadfast love of Barney and Elmo? Or maybe, just maybe, this show is an entry drug for later habitual use of hard core hallucinogenics? Only time will tell.

What I do know is that I am still undecided. There are parts of this show I absolutely hate. It appears to be the anti-Blue’s Clues. While Blue’s Clues focuses on a slow pace and heavy verbal and visual repetition with simple backdrops, Yo Gabba Gabba is taking the opposite approach. Quick cuts between scenes, fast paced music and bold colors and patterns often put into motion come together to form sensory overload. For a child who struggles with overstimulation and/or hyperactivity this show would surely make for a trip straight to tantrum hell. Yo Gabba Gabba feels like a thoughtless reaction to people thinking children’s programming wasn’t “cool” enough.

Yet, even after saying all of this there is a part of me that desperately wants to love this show. Perhaps it is because I too want to feel “cool” (ugh, I feel like I’m back in high school).

One aspect of this show that is spot on are the simple age-appropriate themes. Play, dance, friends, and trains equal toddler delight!

So where does this leave me? A fan? Still too early to tell. The Yo Gabba Gabba drug might just be too powerful for me.

Subway

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 15:53:34 -0500

During a recent visit to NYC my mom stumbled upon Anastasia Suen’s Subway, and thought it would be perfect for my little country mouse turned city mouse. Subway is a must-have board book for your young city-dweller (or city-visitor/dreamer). With simple text Suen walks her readers step by step through the subway experience. With illustrations by the amazing Karen Katz, Suen captures the whimsy of being a child. No mention of over-crowded trains or that overbearing summer subway smell here. Subway is the childhood experience of delighting in the everyday events that all too often we miss as adults.

Baby, It’s Cold Outside!

Tue, 5 Jan 2010 15:29:33 -0500

If you are one of the unlucky readers braving the bone-chilling temps of winter you are probably ready to pull your hair out trying to fill the hours with a little one (or two or three). While nothing beats a morning spent outside at the playground followed by a picnic in the park, there are ways to make indoor time a bit more fun. So put your hats, coats, mittens, scarves and boots (phew!) aside and try of few of these indoor activities.

Homemade Play Dough: A favorite of any early childhood teacher, homemade play dough offers endless hours of fun and spans a wide range of ages (relaxing for adults too!). Besides being simply fun to make, creating your own play dough offers early lessons in math (measuring, fractions, addition, subtraction) and science (changing properties). Introduce play dough to your little gal when she has stopped putting everything in her mouth. Sticking things into play dough is an age-appropriate introduction for toddlers- unsharpened pencils and plastic spoons are perfect for this activity. As your little one ages try different textured rolling pins and cookie cutters. Embrace your child’s creative spirit by not focusing on the end product (stifle the urge to say, but what is it?), but rather the experience.

Play Dough Recipe:
1 C flour/ 1/2 C salt/ 1 C water / 1T vegetable oil/ 2 t cream of tartar/ choice of food coloring
Mix all ingredients together in a heavy saucepan. Cook until mixture forms a ball stirring constantly. Cool slightly on a counter or table. Store in an airtight container or Ziploc bag. Play Dough will keep for weeks.

Forts: Blankets? Check. Couple of chairs or a couch? Check. Few pillows to anchor blankets? Check. Hours of fun await you and your kids! There is something magical that happens when you create a little nook for your child to play in. Our toddler laughs with delight as he goes in and out of his little fortress. Allow your kids to have snack or lunch in the fort and you will be up for mom of the year!

Water Painting: Is your toddler still tasting everything in sight? No worries, exploring objects through his sense of taste is exactly what he should be doing. With that said a mouth full of paint isn’t the best morning snack so why not substitute water for paint? Presto! Painting fun for the under 2 crowd! Fill a bowl with a small amount of water, offer a paint brush or two, and save a few trees by using one of the shipping boxes left over from the holidays.

Happy playing!

Signs There is a Toddler in Your Home

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:39:16 -0500

Uncontrollable fits of crying are instantly followed by a laughing child. You are left wondering, “What the F- just happened?”

He puts an apple slice on his head and leaves it there because that makes sense.

When you look around the room you realize not even MacGyver can get into your cabinets.

You see all forms of technology as instant peace offerings. Now where did I put my cell phone?

Your blood begins to boil when the telephone rings/ doorbell buzzes during nap time!

Walking barefoot is an adventure- was that mashed banana or a glob of peanut butter?

Proud Mama Moments

Fri, 4 Dec 2009 22:00:16 -0500

Every mom has those moments. The moments where you smile to yourself and think “this is why it is all worth it”. Some are big. Some last only a couple of seconds. All make us proud mamas. Here are a few of these moments.

My thirteen month old knows how to say please and thank you... and half the time says them in the right moments.

Watching my little guy give his Daddy kisses and say “I love you”.

Finally figuring out how to get my toddler to drink milk- warm, in a cup with no top, sprinkle of cinnamon- viola! cinnamon juice is born. Baby Starbucks, anyone?

With his joyous “hi” and “bye” Quinn can put a smile on even the most serious New Yorker.

Receiving the compliment “your son is so confident and happy”.

Waking up to the sounds of my boy happily talking to himself.

So, proud mamas, what are your moments?

Open Letter to Parents Magazine

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 09:06:56 -0500

Over the course of the 13 months of being a parent I have learned two very important lessons: 1) Parenting is the hardest, scariest job in the world. 2) Excluding the few monster moms flashed across Fox News (if it bleeds, it leads), most parents are doing their best so try not to be such a critic of others‘ parenting styles.

With these lessons in mind I was disheartened by a recent article in Parents magazine, Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Baby?, that centered on the theme “Get over it”, in response to mothers hesitant about sleep-training their babies, leaving babies to cry in cribs, or, gasp, exclusively breast feeding. As a pro-attachment parenting mom I can not help but feel that this article was a direct critique of how I choose to raise my child.

Lately many of my conversations with my mom friends have centered on sleep. Yes, it is a precious word in a new mom’s world. Spoken almost in guilty whispers we confide in each other that we still nurse our babies, snuggling them close to our bodies as we rock in our gliders. Some of us use cribs, some of us co-sleep, but all of us know that if spoken too loudly we will be critiqued by a pediatrician, well-meaning mom, or a book.

I am quite sick of speaking in whispers about how I raise my boy. So instead I will scream it via this blog- I ROCK MY BABY! I NURSED HIM TO SLEEP UNTIL HE WAS 12 MONTHS OLD! I HAVE NEVER ALLOWED HIM TO CRY BY HIMSELF!

I am proud of how I raise my son. Despite all of these aspects of parenting that I refused to “get over” he is happy, he is confident, and he is sleeping through the night.

So here is my plea to all moms, doctors and parenting magazine editors, stop critiquing the way I, and so many others, parent. There is no one-size-fits-all parenting model. Let’s stop making parents feel bad about the choices they make and, start focusing on building their confidence so they can continue to be amazing parents, because as I said in the beginning, parenting is the hardest, scariest job in the world. It can also be the most rewarding if we allow it to be.

Top Books for Young Children

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:49:52 -0500

One of my favorite things to do after the end of a school day was to go up to the library, sit on the ground, and start pulling books off the shelf in search of new discoveries. Here you will find some of my favorite books for children ages 4-6. Some are classics and some were discovered while sipping a cup of tea after a long school day.

Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes: Henkes is one of those rare
authors who completely understands the psyche of children-
the worries, the angst, the joy, oh, it’s an exhausting and wonderful
world! The use of mice as the main characters in this series of books
gives children a safe place to explore their emotions.

Was it the Chocolate Pudding? by Sandra Levins: The unfortunate
reality we face today is that a large percentage of children are being
forced to come to terms with their parents’ separation and divorce. I
find most children’s books on the subject preachy and unrealistic.
Levins gives the reader the ability to see divorce through the eyes of
the children. A great conversation starter.

It’s Hard to Be Five by Jamie Lee Curtis: I know, I’m as shocked as
you are that one of my favorite authors is an, ahem, actor, but it’s
true. Curtis’ books are hilarious and every year my students adored
reading them! Other favorites include Tell Me Again About the Night
I Was Born and When I Was Little: A Four Year Old’s Memoir of Her
Youth.

Lizards, Frogs and Polliwogs by Douglas Florian: This book contains
a series of animal poems. The poems are clever and age-appropriate
both in terms of material and length. Each poem is paired with
Florian’s whimsical illustrations.

Pezettino by Leo Leonni: Hands down, this is my absolute favorite
book. Beyond being a genius with illustrations, Leonni gets at the
heart of being little in a big world.

Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig: There is something
very comforting about this book- maybe it’s the memories of my mom
reading it when I was little or the pleasure of illustrations that lack all of
the hoopla that is all too often present in books these days. The
simplicity of the illustrations is matched with the simplicity of the
message- the love of a family is better than anything else a magic wish
could get us.